Mistakes were made. Schedules were not considered. People have been sacked. Trust us.
One note: this review is not going to include the Alley Viper, since he has already been covered in detail in this space. Now, onto the reviews!
Dr. Mindbender.
Either the 1980s really were a more innocent time, or the folks who designed this were shocked when it got approved.
Look, a host of jokes present themselves, ok? But they're all either too easy or bordering on homophobic, and LBAMToyreview is better than that. It is impossible not to point out that the silver...thing...Dr. Mindbender carries answers rather too easily to the word "probe."
Haff you been naughty? Ve know you haff. No mustache ride! Only ze probe!
Ok, so maybe this blog isn't above some of the easy jokes. But in all seriousness, is there any chance a guy this ripped, dressed as he is, wouldn't be welcome in your friendly neighborhood BDSM club?
Of course, ultimately the question that needs answering is whether Mindbender is a good figure. He is, with a well-sculpted, iconic face, nicely detailed chest straps (props to CompulsiveCollector
Of course, ultimately the question that needs answering is whether Mindbender is a good figure. He is, with a well-sculpted, iconic face, nicely detailed chest straps (props to CompulsiveCollector
for demonstrating the no fuss way to get his straps to sit straight on his torso) and a throwback soft cape. I tend to prefer the harder capes for durability and quality reasons...this small, these soft capes never really fall or fold well...but this works well enough for a classic Mindbender update.
Where exactly does an orthodontist who performs groundbreaking research
into the use of electronically induced hypnosis, only to have it go horribly wrong and turn him into
a diabolical genius find enough hours in the day to get this ripped?
into the use of electronically induced hypnosis, only to have it go horribly wrong and turn him into
a diabolical genius find enough hours in the day to get this ripped?
You know, as silly as Mindbender's backstory might seem...it is really just as I described in that rambling block of text up there stretching the limits of the term 'caption'...is it really so much weirder than that of dozens of other comic book villains? I doubt it. Mindbender does seem to be that catch-all "scientist" that sci-fi media tends to use; he's an orthodontist by trade who also knows enough about genetics to clone an ultimate leader out of the DNA of history's greatest leaders, he's a genius roboticist who created the Cobra B.A.T.s, and he can create weaponized vines...that's a pretty impressive resume.
I love that the back of the harness...which you wouldn't ordinarily see...has this much work put into it. I really do. Enough of my yakkin'. On with the ratings.
LBAM Rating: 8.7. Good, not thrilling, a solid reuse of existing parts with new head. In need of more accessories.

Were he single carded, I'd be buying the hell out of him, especially in these classic colors.
LBAM Rating: 9.5/10. Not quite the Alley Viper, but a damn fine figure.

I am ALL for battle-damaged robots. Battle damaged robots create ambience in flair in a collection. I dig it. Quick question, though; why, if the regular carded BAT could have a nifty black paint wash on his extremities, does this guy, who has clearly seen better days, have shiny, shiny metal limbs. Did he just break out a polishing kit in the middle of a firefight? The black wash would've made this figure complete. Sure, I CAN give it one on my own...and I probably will...but c'mon. Still, the battle damage is sweet.
That is craftsmanship right there, dammnit. I also dig that he comes with the first-comic appearance backpack, spores, and vines...but I also wouldn't mind if all the other B.A.T. limbs came with it as well.
LBAM Rating: 8.9. A black wash makes it a 10. Also, mine came with a spare head but not a spare chestplate, and I have heard some chatter that others had spare chestplates. Anything to that?
LBAM Rating: 8.7. Good, not thrilling, a solid reuse of existing parts with new head. In need of more accessories.
Lamprey

For my money, this guy wins "best of the 7 pack, non Alley Viper category" all day long. Mindbender has his uses, the Night Creeper is sweet, the Range Viper is better than expected...but the Lamprey takes the cake. He just oozes danger and competence. The translucent blue visor is the kind of detail I just love.
He also features a surprising amount of new tooling (at least I think it's new) for his SMG, sidearm, vest, backpack, hoses, and even upper torso...I can't think of any other 25th figure with that sculpted gorget-type thing around the neck. He's just a badass. I'm not sure why I love this figure so very much, but I do. I expected the entire helmet to be removable, given that the quite-similar-lamprey type figure in black and red for the Rise of Cobra line appears to have a removable helmet, but it hardly hurts the overall appearance or use of the figure.
Were he single carded, I'd be buying the hell out of him, especially in these classic colors.
LBAM Rating: 9.5/10. Not quite the Alley Viper, but a damn fine figure.
Air Viper
Why do I already own 3 Air Vipers? There's no excuse. It's a fine enough figure, but there is no reason for him to see three separate releases...four, soon, with the advent of Target RoC exclusives...so quickly. I am all for reusing, repainting, etc. But I don't need to own any more of these guys.
LBAM Rating: 7/10. Nice. Not thrilling, but nice. Cobra Pilots are always less interesting figures to me than are Cobra ground-pounders or Cobra naval troopers. Not sure why.
LBAM Rating: 7/10. Nice. Not thrilling, but nice. Cobra Pilots are always less interesting figures to me than are Cobra ground-pounders or Cobra naval troopers. Not sure why.
Cobra BAT
I am ALL for battle-damaged robots. Battle damaged robots create ambience in flair in a collection. I dig it. Quick question, though; why, if the regular carded BAT could have a nifty black paint wash on his extremities, does this guy, who has clearly seen better days, have shiny, shiny metal limbs. Did he just break out a polishing kit in the middle of a firefight? The black wash would've made this figure complete. Sure, I CAN give it one on my own...and I probably will...but c'mon. Still, the battle damage is sweet.
LBAM Rating: 8.9. A black wash makes it a 10. Also, mine came with a spare head but not a spare chestplate, and I have heard some chatter that others had spare chestplates. Anything to that?
Night Creeper
That is a man's crossbow right there. Early Cuyler would kill to hang that thing on the rack on his truck-boat-truck.
Despite the presence of several shades of purple, the Night Creeper is a man's ninja. Really a great update to the classic, though I wouldn't mind seeing different arms, I can live with the Flint arms. The crossbow really makes the figure. I mean honestly.
Seriously, I think Sgt. Detritus might carry that thing. If you got both references, congratulations...you are just as big a geek as I am.
Anyway, this figure harkens to the very end of my childhood G.I. Joe collecting/playing and is somehow extra nostalgic for that fact. He really is a terrific update, and I look forward to opportunities to round out my ranks of Night Creepers.
LBAM Rating: 9.2/10
LBAM Rating: 9.2/10
Range Viper
The above was the best picture of the Range Viper I took. Point? I took some seriously shitty pictures the other night. Ah well.
Well, alright...this one is better. Regardless, this is a really well made fig. I should've given a close up of the skull mask (beneath which lurks a blue Beachhead head) and in his hand there is a Marauder, Inc. grenade launcher, not his standard issue. I recommend it for all grenade launcher needs. If I'm looking at it right, this figure really needed very little new tooling to be an awesome new figure. It's well done. What else do you want? Not every figure lends itself to cheap jokes about anal probes, ok?
LBAM Rating: 9/10
Well, that wraps up the Cobra Island 7-packs. With any luck, and a steady supply of beer, I may get some more Rise of Cobra reviews up this week.
LBAM Rating: 9/10
Well, that wraps up the Cobra Island 7-packs. With any luck, and a steady supply of beer, I may get some more Rise of Cobra reviews up this week.

